Bren

Hello, welcome to the Jungle Cruise! My name is Bren and I'll be your jungle skipper, dance instructor, chiropractor, therapist, and taxman for the next 3 weeks. No worries, it'll only feel like 10 minutes to you.

wait, wrong page

Actually, Bren (also known as MM64, Bern, Nerb, Brenbren, Nerbnerb, Bernybern, Nerbynerb, and basically any other corruption of "Bren") is everything you could possibly imagine. He's like Packy (who in theory is too awesome to have a page right now. Why? Because he's Packy, bitches.), because like Packy, Bren is everything, everyone, and everywhere. And yes, I know what you're thinking. He is, indeed, your grandmother's dentures.

He is absolutely perfect, like a bowl of Lucky Charms, except he has philophobia. What is that, you ask? Fuck if I know. Bren is Jebus's loyal assistant, and best bro to MCS. MCS helped him through the very, very,  VERY tragic day that he had at Burger King. Bren ordered a medium soda, and they gave him a large. ' THEY GAVE HIM A LAAAAAAARGE!!!!! ' They also changed his soda order from a Coke to a Diet Coke, but he's so colorblind, he can't tell the difference. He thinks his hair is red instead of black! Ask my therapist, he knows. wait did I say I have a therapist? shit

His villainous mother, simply named "Bren'smother", is the most villainous creature in the small-ass state of New Jersey. Bren has to hide in the shadows while using the computer, because if he doesn't, Bren'smother will burst in, saying

 BREN, MAH SON, YA GOTZ TA DEW YO HOMEWURKZ OR I GROUND JOO 

Then he gets a game over. Oh, did I mention he has a movie and a video game? they got horrible reviews. of course, his mom and my his therapist were the only reviewers, so

There was a once-proven theory named the "MCS Is a Lucky Bastard So He Never Has Homework, Bish Theory" that stated whenever MCS has homework, Bren didn't, and vice versa. Don't believe me? Ask Billy Bob. Who's that, you ask? Don't worry about that, because, y'know, he's standing right behind you. MENACINGLY

Trivia

 * In mid-2013, Bren disappeared for several months, but returned in early 2014. Then, after a month or two, he disappeared again, cutting off contact with MCS and many other Steam friends. He hasn't been heard from since. It has been speculated that he was either taken as a disciple by Jebus himself, or is on a sabbatical in the Middle East to spread the word of Jebus, but no one knows the exact cause of his sudden disappearance.